My Mutti died this week. That is my Grandmother, my father’s mother, my Far Mor by how my kids keep track of it. They say your whole life flashes before your eyes before you die. I think thats wrong. I think your whole life flashes before the eyes of those you love as you are about to leave. The memories they will always keep, even when you are long gone. Here are the things that flashed before my eyes.
My earliest memories of my Mutti are of her skunk. I am not sure I realized it was a skunk, just a little black cat. I remember it following her in the back yard.
I remember dresses. lace and pinafores. And one with an apple on it. To remind me I was the apple of her eye.
I remember her rocks. Giant jagged boulders great for climbing and reaching the bottom branches of those huge maple trees. They were like small golden mountains. We were all so sad when grandpa trimmed the branches and we couldn’t reach to climb those trees. I loved to lay on the smooth top of the boulder and look up through the red maple leaves to catch glimpses of the blue sky. I fell in love with plants at Mutti’s house. She had trees and shrubs I had never seen before. Purple magnolias, Japanese maples, pear tomatoes, ferns, fuchsias and begonias. I even loved those huge junipers. They were great to hide in.
I loved her living room. The purple velvet victorian couches were not the most comfortable, but I loved to sit in there. She had these crystal lamps that were clear and bumpy on the bottom, and had crystals hanging from the shade like dozens of sparkly earrings. I wanted to wear those crystals in my ears so bad! I probably still would if I could! There was a crest with swords sticking out of it. One of the swords was broken, and I always imagined that someone had tried to pull it out at a time of great need, like if a robber came to the house, or perhaps to vanquish a dragon, like St George in the sculpture on the mantle. The mantle was also graced by Venus (I often wondered what the punishment had been for breaking off the arms of Mutti’s statue! I always suspected Uncle Dick) and 2 geishas. She had 2 paintings of ballerinas, in another room. I think they were paint by number, but I thought they were beautiful.
One day I was coloring a picture of Daisy Duck. I could not decide if her shoes should be pink or purple, so I colored one of each. Mutti laughed and told me that her mother would wear different shoes all the time. At the time I thought that perfectly sensible.
My cousin Toph had a birthday party. We had a treasure map. We drove up the canyon in the rain and dug up a treasure chest. It was filled with pearls and gems. We were all thrilled! Richard wore a string of pink pirate pearls for years after that. I heard someone whisper, “Mutti gave us all her old costume jewelry”. I couldn’t believe she didn’t want it anymore. Mutti wore A LOT of jewelry. I think I would feel that same childhood thrill if I got to open one of her jewelry boxes now. I think I would fight Richard a little harder for the pearls this time.
Mutti fed us Fruit Loops until our mouths hurt. We didn’t get sugar cereal at home, but Mutti always bought it for us. I was so glad when I got a retainer, because it protected the roof of my mouth from the abrasive cereal.
One year she bought Natalie and I Strawberry Shortcake blankets. I saw one at my mom’s house in Minnesota last year and wanted to stuff it into my suitcase when no one was looking. I didn’t though, Kissy probably has it.
Their house was small, but it was full of love, and chocolate and wool socks, and that is what I will always remember.
